When was the last time someone got promoted just for knowing the most?
You probably know a few people like that - the smartest person in the room, the one with all the answers.
But if you look a little closer, you’ll notice something interesting: it’s rarely just knowledge or technical skills that propel someone forward. It’s how they work with others. How they handle conflict. How they listen, lead, and adapt.
That’s what soft skills look like, the quiet attributes we don’t always talk about, but absolutely feel when they’re missing.
What Exactly Are Soft Skills
Soft skills are what make people want to work with you again. They're not about being agreeable or charming; they’re about emotional intelligence, resilience, clear communication, and the ability to read a room, even when that room is a Zoom call with 12 muted rectangles.
Soft skills help you:
- Keep your cool during high-stress deadlines
- Deliver tough feedback without burning bridges
- Resolve conflicts before they escalate
- Influence decisions without needing a title
In short, they make the difference between doing your job and making an impact.
Soft Skills Drive Careers
I once worked with two senior accountants - both brilliant. One often came across as dismissive and rude - although he had his "angel" moments. The other was a great listener, shows genuine care and concern, and generally carries people along in discussions.
Guess who became a manager first?
It wasn’t just about competence. It was about trust. People wanted to follow the second accountant, not just because she was smart, but because she made them feel seen, heard, and valued.
Soft skills build that trust. And trust builds careers.
Why Soft Skills Matter More Than Ever
In recent work environments where we have hybrid teams, constant change, and cross-functional work, soft skills have become non-negotiable. And here’s why:
- Remote work thrives on clarity and empathy. When you're not sitting next to your team, the ability to communicate well and read tone becomes critical.
- Leadership is no longer about control, it’s about influence. And influence comes from connection.
- Collaboration is everything. Complex problems don’t get solved by lone geniuses; they get solved by smart teams who know how to talk to each other.
- The best ideas don’t always win; the best communicated ones do. That’s not cynicism. That’s reality.
How to Develop Soft Skills
Well, soft skills aren’t fixed traits. They can be learned if you are intentional about it.
Here’re some ways you can start building soft skills:
- Start with self-awareness. Ask yourself how others experience you. Do people seek your input? Do they feel heard? Do they trust you?
- Watch how you listen. Most people listen to reply. Practice listening to understand. You’ll be surprised how much more influence you gain.
- Practice empathy. Try to see situations from others’ perspectives, especially when you disagree. It’s not about being agreeable; it’s about being understanding.
- Understand emotions in conversations. You don’t need to be overly emotional, but being able to recognize and name feelings in a conversation can change how things go. For example, if someone seems frustrated, you might say, “I can sense that you’re frustrated. What’s bothering you?” This helps everyone feel heard and can make the conversation more productive.
- Asking thoughtful questions. Instead of immediately sharing your own thoughts, try pausing and asking, “What’s your perspective on this?” or “What do you think is most important here?” This shows you value the other person's opinion and helps create a more open, respectful conversation.
- Be intentional in conversations. Whether in person or over Zoom, aim to connect, not just communicate. That means listening more than you speak and paying attention to non-verbal cues.
- Be the calm in the chaos. When everyone else is panicking, your ability to stay steady and focused will make you invaluable.
- Ask for feedback - and listen. One of the fastest ways to grow is to ask trusted colleagues what you could do better. It’s uncomfortable, but it’s gold.
- Invest in growth. There are fantastic resources (books, podcasts, courses) that help you develop soft skills. Two personal favorites: “Emotional Intelligence” by Daniel Goleman and “Dare to Lead” by Brené Brown.
For What It's Worth...
The most respected professionals I know aren’t necessarily the loudest or the most brilliant. They’re the ones who consistently show up with clarity, humility, and empathy. They make space for others without shrinking themselves. They know when to speak and when to listen. They resolve tension instead of creating it.
And over time, that builds a reputation you can’t fake.
So the next time you're thinking about upskilling, by all means - take that course or get that certification. But also ask:
- How well do I lead a meeting?
- Can I disagree without being defensive?
- Do people feel safe bringing me their concerns?
Because the real edge in your career isn’t just in what you know; it’s in how you show up.
Your turn...
Does any of the ways to build soft skills resonate with you? Is there anything you'd like to add?
Feel free to share your thoughts in the comments.