No One Talks About This, But I Will: The Hidden Danger of Having a Mentor

First, let’s get this out of the way: I’ve had mentors...

Some were assigned, some emerged naturally, and a few came and went so fast, I’m not sure we even made it to the “mentee” stage. And while I’ve learned from many of them, here’s an unpopular truth I’ve come to believe:

You don’t need a mentor to succeed in your career.

Yep, I said it.

Not having a mentor doesn’t mean you’re doomed to wander blindly through your career. In fact, not having one might just be the nudge you need to develop something far more powerful - internal clarity and self-direction.

Hear me out...

Mentorship is not necessarily a cheat code

When it comes to career advice and all, we often treat mentors like cheat codes, like that one person who will open all the right doors, tell you when to pivot, hand you wisdom on a silver platter, and maybe even recommend you for your dream job.

And sure, that sounds great.

But the real issue is that, when we OVERvalue mentorship, we risk outsourcing our intuition.

We stop asking ourselves tough questions and start waiting for someone else to answer them for us. It has happened to me. And I've seen it played out with a lot of people time and time again.

Or how do you explain that my close friend gave up his content creation dream just because his "mentor" said it doesn't suit the kind of industry in which he works? 

By the way, what kind of industry is immune to content creation?

During my university days, I remember winning an argument by citing a fake quote I attributed to Bill Gates.

Now, the amazing thing was how quickly the person I was arguing with started modifying his own arguments to suit what he thought Bill Gates had said.

We do this a lot. We surrender our reasoning once we feel someone smarter is already doing it for us.

We latch onto the words of mentors, executives, bestselling authors, or famous entrepreneurs -sometimes without even stopping to ask: Does this actually apply to me? Does this make sense here?

And let me be clear: I’m not against learning from others. I admire brilliant minds and value mentorship deeply, although not in the way you're probably thinking. 

But there’s a thin line between inspiration and blind followership.

Even the smartest people are still… people. They have biases. They make mistakes. They may say things in one context that don’t hold up in another. Simple!

So, your job isn’t to memorize, repeat, and implement whatever you are told. Your job is to discern when what you are told applies and when it doesn’t. That’s real wisdom. That’s where growth happens. Don't outsource your intuition.

No mentor ever knew you like you know yourself

Let’s get this straight - no matter how brilliant, seasoned, or well-intentioned they are, no mentor has lived your life. They haven’t felt your fears, carried your hopes, or faced the exact set of decisions you’re standing in front of right now.

Every mentor walks into your story with their own script - shaped by the era they grew up in, the career paths they took, the industries they navigated, and even the insecurities they never quite shed. That’s not a flaw; it’s simply being human.

But when you lean "too" heavily on someone else's map, you run the risk of ignoring your own compass. You may start making choices that make sense for their journey but leave you feeling lost in yours.

What worked for them at 30 might fall flat for you at 25, or even at 40. The rules of the game change. The economy shifts. Industries evolve. Values shift. And let’s not forget, you change too.

That doesn’t mean mentors aren’t valuable. They absolutely are. But the goal is not to copy-paste their life onto yours. The goal is to learn from their experiences - then apply those lessons with your own intuition, your own values, and your own truth in mind.

Because at the end of the day, no one else is responsible for the consequences of the choices you make; only you are.

So what’s the alternative?

Instead of spending all your energy looking for a mentor, you should try this instead:

• Be your own career coach: You can ask yourself every few months: “Am I growing?” “What’s frustrating me?” “What’s lighting me up lately?” Journal it, if journaling is your thing. Reflect on it. You’ll be shocked how much clarity you already have.
• Build a "mentor library": Who says you need one mentor when you can pick the brains of several people? Take a podcast here, a book there, a friend in a different industry, your manager, and maybe that brilliant but grumpy senior colleague on your team. Each can drop a gem, no mentorship contract required.
• Learn in the wild: Some of the best lessons don't come from people telling you what to do. From what I can tell, the hest lessons come from trying, failing, iterating, and trying again. Take calculated risks on yourself... you might be surprised at the things you unlock in the process. 

The truth is…

Mentorship is great, make no mistake. It can speed up your journey, offer perspective, and help you avoid certain pitfalls. But let’s not confuse it with the only way to grow.

Your ambition, your curiosity, your discipline? Those are the real engine.

So if you’ve been waiting for a mentor before making your next move, let me be the one to tell you that:

You’re allowed to move anyway.

And maybe, just maybe, the mentor you’re looking for is already there - in the mirror.

Do you subscribe to this thought? Let's hear your views in the comments. Plus, feel free to share if this struck a chord.

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